Coaching Couples to Strong Marriages
Marriage is being attacked more than ever before in America. There are more counts of single parent households, of cohabitation, and higher rates of divorce in American society than ever before. According to the US Census Bureau, the average divorce rate is currently sitting at 51.2% in American households. Broken down by region, divorce rates are highest in the South, sitting at approximately 54.8%, Midwest at 52.1%, Northeast 48.4%, and in the West 47%. One of the things to remember with these stats is the South also has the highest rate of marriage and the Northeast has the lowest rate.
Many people are now teaching that marriage is an outdated, unnecessary process in couples’ lives nowadays. However, they are able to maintain a good household by having cohabitation or living without being married. The State of our Unions Marriage in America 2010 report put together by “National Marriage Project out of University of Virginia and Center for Marriage and Family is at the Institute for America Values” shows the rate of cohabitation between couples between the years 1960 and 2009, In 1960 cohabitation was less than a half million couples, in 2000 it was at 3.882 million couples, and 2009, nearly double that rate at 6.661 million couples. So, questions I have are, “Why is it that marriage rates are going down? Cohabitation is on the rise?” According to the Census Bureau, only 62% of children in America today live with both parents. It is astonishing that 25 to 60 year old married couples attending church is dropped from 40% in the 1970’s to only 28% in the 2000’s. Another aspect that leads to lower rates of marriage and higher divorces seem to be poverty. Other factors that come in to play for marriages are finances, education, infertility, parenting, and family.
As Christian life coaches, we know the importance of marriage to God. We need to be the ones on the front line help focus these couples not only want to marry want to stay married forever. So what is it that we need to do as the ones that are working with these couples on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis?
1. We need to work with them in order to see their focus changed from the world to God
2. We should give couples Scripture verses that show the various aspects of marriage
3. They need be able to take arguments and turn them into discussions.
Arguments = fights = winners and losers = no solutions
Discussions = both sides being heard = understanding = both sides win
The more communication both husband and wife have with each other the stronger they become as parents. The more they pray and attend church together the stronger their relationship with God will become. This will help them be more committed to each other, as well as any children they may have.
As coaches, it is a blessing when we are able to work with any couple that is looking to become married. We have the tools to be able to give them the right path so that they can have the strong abundant life says a married couple. The greatest gift we can give any of them is the Scriptures. We can be the ones that come alongside the couples that are already married and help them put a plan in place that will effectively make them know where they want to go in their marriage, how they want to serve the Lord, how they want to parent their children, and how they want to grow old together.
Each couple will have different needs, and it will be important to allow them to set their own personal goals for the marriage. Just like in other coaching types, we can set a plan of action in place to make each growth step possible. The ultimate result should be that the couple becomes one in everything they do. Fill your coaching library with material that can help relate to couples needs, and keep up on marriage trends.
All in all, as Christian life coaches we can be the catalyst to help married couples which will bring them together now as God wants, and help build marriage. I pray that God grows in each of your hearts to help couples and that He sends them to you. Don’t forget that you have been given a special calling by God to be a Christian Life Coach, and I believe in you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Michael Gage is a twelve year cancer survivor, certified Life Coach and founder of Narrow Path Seekers. He is currently a student at Light University Online in the Life Coaching Advanced Diploma program. His practice focuses on Marriage, Cancer, Leadership, Hope, and Spiritual Development coaching.